Does being successful mean flying solo?
The term “relationship” has taken an entirely new meaning. The narrative of being consistently single is the norm, because, like, god forbid someone drew focus from your career of selling vegan shampoo on Instagram and overthrowing the patriarchy. In a slew of swipe surges, Snapchats, and situation-ships, is being a hopeless romantic, well, hopeless?
Don’t get me wrong; I’m all for destroying the patriarchy (not too sure about the whole selling vegan shampoo on Insta thing, but I do love oat milk so I feel like that should count for something?) but I can’t say I’m on board with romance taking a backseat. And I’m not alone in being alone; most of my friends are single, too. Being in a group of hot girls who get left on delivered definitely makes me feel *seen,* but it also leads me to wonder: why is this the norm? Why have we become so used to hooking up circumstantially and still thinking about how nobody we’ve met in the past year was much better than our summer camp crush? Did I miss the moment where we became totally chill with casual sex with strangers we met on the internet and happily ghosting each other?
On a more worrisome note, it’s not just my friends; it’s the people I look up to. More often than not, the “Girlboss” narrative appears to be a solo piece. The working-girl-influencer-CEO baddie can’t seemingly be bothered with the distraction of a significant other shackling her down to quiet nights at home and Homeland marathons—she needs to be out in the world, having new experiences, meeting people, and making memories. Is it completely impossible to have both? I can’t help but have this terrifying vision of myself waking up at 40 years old alone in a king-sized bed with a massive hangover and stack of magazines—and nobody next to me.
The Boss Bitch with No Boyfriend™ may find herself seeking comfort in unrealistic media representations of love as to live vicariously through our Disney+ subscription (SO worth it). Since I was a little girl, I worshiped early 2000’s chick flicks where the hot jerk suddenly developed a soft spot for the editor of the school newspaper and they shared a tender kiss in the rain at prom. Now that I’m older and at least slightly more jaded, I’ve realized how desperately rom-com writers need to get it together--the modern ingenue would much rather consult her therapist about a nicotine addicted skateboarder than sing about the hero that came to her small town to solve everyone’s problems.
Being single has become frighteningly normal. It’s almost expected that the “date” that comes from an app such as Hinge or Bumble is not intended to result in a serious commitment, and even having feelings for someone probably just means consistently-hooking-up-friends-with-benefits-but-we’re-exclusive-except-on-weekends or something ridiculous like that. If being single is trendy, I'm looking for a guy who makes me want to go out of style.
Image via Pinterest
Comments